DEAR DEIDRE: I WAS so angry when I found out that my husband had befriended an older woman while working away that I started flirting with younger guys on dating apps.
I’m not proud of myself but I ended up sleeping with two of them — yet when I told my husband he found it a huge turn-on and said he wanted to watch me having sex with one of the men I’d bedded.
The problems started when my husband decamped to our static caravan on the south coast.
He was looking after a big work project near our caravan and said it made more sense for him to stay there for weeks at a time, rather than come home to me and the children.
Then I found out that he was spending a lot of time with an older woman, who is in her late 40s and lives on the site. I was furious.
I am 34 and my husband is 38. Our kids are six and four.
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That’s when I started talking to the younger guys I came across on the dating apps.
My relationship with my husband was in tatters by the time his project had finished.
He insisted he and this older woman had only become good friends but I was convinced he’d cheated and wanted to hurt him so told him about my encounters, but his reaction is troubling me.
I want us to stay together but I’m worried about the precedent it would set if I go ahead with his suggestion of having sex with another man in front of him.
DEIDRE SAYS: Before you go any- where near entertaining his fantasy you both need to work through the issues that caused him to possibly cheat, and you to feel abandoned.
If you don’t address these, hurtling towards his sexual fantasy will at best provide a temporary distraction.
You have children and for their sake alone it’s worth trying to improve your communication and relationship.
Your husband’s fantasy is a type of voyeurism – getting pleasure from seeing someone else engaging in sexual activity.
Although you say you are willing to do this for him, you clearly worry about the implications for your relationship long-term.
You can refuse to do this.
Please do consider relationship counselling with a reputable therapist before agreeing to this risky sex.
Tavistockrelationships.org can help.
Categories: Optical Illusion
Source: tiengtrunghaato.edu.vn